i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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