There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize