Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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