OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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