how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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