apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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