If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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