I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
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