I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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