Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize