no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize