hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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