dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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