My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
