Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
