woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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