Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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