dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
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My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
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Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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