dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I would ride that face into the sunset
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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