Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
