I hate all girls vehemently.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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