Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
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i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize