We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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