Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
