OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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