Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
