I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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