That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
