the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
