Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
