I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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