The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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