all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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