I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
