She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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