we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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