my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
