who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize