All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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