Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize