at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
