i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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