you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
