Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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