Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
