Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
