I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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