2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
