this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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