marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
