It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
