i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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