wat bout pragnant strippers??
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
