I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize