It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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