I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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