How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize