College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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